More than you should,
more than I could,
more that you would,
what you meant to me.

By your side in the day,
by your soul when I’m away,
by your mind whispering to your sleep,
what you meant to me.

Even if expensive,
even if dangerous,
even if hurtful,
what you meant to be.

While I courted you hopefully,
while I hugged you dearly,
while you cursed turned and left,
what you meant to me.

I’ll always give you my best,
I’ll always be better than the rest
I’ll always remember,
what you meant to me.

When but presence softens the heart
smiles bury dark truths
and breaths journey canyons
what is one to do.

When shuffling the deck does no good
cause yet still the same hand is dealt
and it’s keen effect now so abhorred
what is one to do.

When the release of cupids arrow
seeds yet more suffering
and memories are many too to forget
what is one to do.

When everyday brings anguish
by reminders to visible to fold
and defense is only an empty smile
what is one to do.

When passing days see decaying hopes
every attempt for it another folly
and yet still secrecy covers all
what is one to do.

Shall pass the time the tide the taste
drop such faith amidst blue
and even shall cover deep
what is one to do.

By the clock’s whine I awake
at an unholy hour it bade me
from the depth of enchantment
torn out away by the richest inequity.

The hands say three
the moon ridden sky hints two
but me my soul my mind
cries out to heaven for but an hour more.

Nonsense go ahead Sir Time
I will be with you straight
be it by the word of mouth
or the shuffle of feet.

Again I stare at my captor
idly he marches by
even without the world
his ventures would yield not.

Beaten I stray to the edge of the bed
and consider those who went before me
the doctors the lawyers
all with good stride with fervor.

Lest I be a loser I stand
what evil conceived this institution
learning they protest to give
I say it be learning with a touch of hell.

None the less I switch on lights
gather books and pens
and we flop onto the warmth
of the my friend the mattress.

I shall lay down my head
but for a half and one minute
no more no less
in due to course all shall be done.

Ah but behold the grip of temptation
for she is cold and bitter
and has not compassion
the end begins with your feeding on her fruit.

For I awoke in the dream realm
where loves lost dwelt amidst
loves present bathed in splendor
and money knows no meaning.

For here the heart was fat with merriment
crushes blossomed like the Quince
lavishing garments pollished persons
I must hurry to dispose of any exit.

Ah who is this that God has sent me
Lest she be the one of my heart
I bid her absence
With that her place near me she takes.

Lust is natures toy
it begins at the back of the eye
and kneads is way to the heart
until the tognue dries in anuish.

But alas she refuses my hand
a smile on her face
she bids good bye as a friend
astounded I fall with a bruised heart.

A midst the torment of my reprimand
the shrll of some demon bell
crumbles my foundation
and I cast into the abyss.

With a thud and a jerk
I collide into bed
God’s torch blinds my vision
memories dashed astray.

My bed mates poke my side
Some books and a pen
Sir Time indeed gone ahead
And so I wake in the wake of my innocence.

How does the mind battle
when its weapons are words
and the foe is a heart
hardened against the sting of words
apathetic to the cause of utterings
which having fell victim to non acceptance
laying sprawled at the feet of their conquerer
as memoirs of failed attacks
bleeding out their meanings.

How does one soul commune with another
whose warmth it desires as dearly as it can
so much that it fails to see
as might an excited camera
whose lenses focuses past
in a search for what it knows is near
but it tis so near
so near that it’s best left to the lips to discover
and the hands to search out.

As I sit here gasping for thought,
the time crawls past,
digging its claws into the reaches of my mind,
tearing me back to the past.

I catch my footing,
just months before now,
where hand in hand we walked,
upon loney roads as one.

No span seemed to wide a reach,
nor barrier I could not breah,
as I thought confidently,
my heart alone it wouldn’t be.

But alas the burn of fresh wounds,
seems close be over,
now comes the part,
where I’m suppose to move on and forget.

But I cannot,
forget or deceive your memory,
which so fondly i shall carry,
to the end.

But to the end of what,
for surely if God may permit,
even eternity shall know you,
your memory in me.

For you emodied my dreams,
in ways which I failed explain,
you gathered my efforts,
which I so whole hearted commited.

And now I fear the future I once sought,
alone now I fear look for any,
for I may find another like you,
and twice this tradegy can I not survive.

For the truth is,
that which you denied,
how I tenderly kissed you,
how I sought your smile.

When I carried your burdens,
just to be by your side,
when I pranced wrong naked,
to hear you laugh out loud.

Then did my past sins,
strike me down,
once twice trice,
yet I came back for more.

You couldn’t see this,
and now you’re gone,
no more calls or kisses,
just the trobbing of healing wounds.

It was all a dream
ever thought that I thought
every step that I took
had my life planned out
then I fell a sleep.

It was all a dream
the novelties
the simplicities
where all ended once
then came to past.

It was all a dream
have I left reality
have I dismissed the truth
conjured up a lie
then swallowed it whole.

It was a all a dream
pretty faces
pretty minds
combined to be
then be without flaws.

It was all a dream
wishes of perfection
wishes of courtship
one at a time
no rush involved.

It was all a dream
fast women
fast death
because I’ve woken to today’s world
then fell aware to reality.

It was all a dream
sweet language
sweet lips
now distance away
then even covered from view.

It was all a dream
where the symphony played on
where the night was you
and the dance was always there to be had
then maybe sweet victory enjoyed.

It was all a dream
in eyes lay the ocean
in the ocean another world
with one eternity could be found
then in the other infinity neared.

It was all a dream
I was
I could
for nothing was for shouldn’t
then every wish could be earned.

It was all a dream
my plan now dead
my deadline past
must have been all a dream
then maybe it was my past.

The thing that no man considers,
but cherishes the most.
The thing whose age we ponder,
and existence we consider.
The thing that without we are not,
yet with we take no notice of.
The thing closest to heart,
yet farthest from mind.
The thing that those who no longer breathe for lack of miss,
while we the breathing ones take for granted.
LIFE

Courtship is a lost art,
known by many,
practiced by none.

Boy meets girl,
boys likes girl,
boy courts girl.

That was before,
it is so no longer,
now.

Boy meets girl,
boy dates girl,
boy may or may not like girl.

That is why,
babies are killed,
and marriages are broken.

Courtship is a lost art,
known by many,
practised by none.

Atop the hill where knowledge runs
to which pilgrimages are started
and stories spun
I look and see the many faces.
To every face a story
to every story a flaw
It has been here that blue hands
have been dealt a midst stiffened breaths
even with the dealer’s nod
yet alliances form amidst showers of hate
couples make couples break
no one really knows
maybe I don’t either
but still I watch and see.

Atop the hill where knowledge runs
many watch now with spite
maybe I deserve this pit I’ve laid

Alone to myself
out the windows I watch
The sun shining down
dogs barking
the grass dancing.

Alone to myself
still through the glass
the sun setting
my head now light
my shoulders deep.

Alone to myself
no number in mind
no sweetheart to ring
the handset lifted
beeping aloud.

Alone to myself
I ponder the facts
no soul mate
not even a listening ear
tears rain my awareness.

Alone to myself
without soft flesh
wanting a crystal voice
or glimmering eye
happiness barren.

Alone to myself
this cannot last
no such evil exists
future holds hope
hoping for the future.

Alone to myself
right now
for some again
but somewhere
someone.

Alone to myself
my head bowed down
I am not alone
His spirit moves
His being supreme.

Alone to myself
God and I
goodness greatness
I believe and
trust and know.

Alone to myself
still no soft hand
hush no voice
yet no companion
my sand almost run out.